The Feeling of Guilt

By Lida Prypchan

There will always be someone who writes about civilization, who criticizes it, who calls it the "Present Shakiness" as J.F. Baena Reyes, who, in his column Lipstick, branded the world in which we move about as a "viscous quagmire of confusion."  And not without good reason.  We are in the era of neurosis, hurried to get who knows where.  Of those who populate the world, Reyes Baena says there are those who enjoy an exquisite pleasure in sadistically provoking the pain of others.  Others aspire to wash their guilt in the savory contentment of personal suffering.

These words, in one form or another, made me think of a game in which all take part: the game of culpability.

This game has existed since the world began.  It is as old as worry and depression. Who escapes their worries?

What changed regarding our generation is that now in any bookshop we find books like "Overcome Depression in 15 Days" with Royal cake type recipes they call "bold techniques."

The feeling of guilt is an emotion that immobilizes us in the present moment for something we did in the past.  And feeling ourselves guilty we deceive ourselves, thinking that we pay for our mistake.  It is one thing is to learn from the past and another to mortify ourselves with something that happened and cannot be undone.  There is a very wise saying about it that says, "It is not the experience of today that drive men crazy.  It is the remorse for something that happened yesterday and the fear of what tomorrow may bring us. "  The past and the future are what we really worry about, and meanwhile we lose the present, thinking of the other two times.

What happens with this emotion is that it seems we carry it in our blood because, from the time we are small, they give us guilt with our applesauce, and then when we become adults we give our children the same dose of guilt that we were given.

For the young, I will not end this article with the skepticism with which Baena Reyes concludes his own.  Reyes ended thus: “It is not time to gargle with words that will find no resonance in the consciousness already experienced among the people."  I do not necessarily seek changes; all I want is that anyone who is self-absorbed, and who identifies him/herself with any of the examples that I will give below, to change, if they so desire, his/her attitude.

What are the origins of guilt?

From when we are children we are manipulated with guilt, whether it be by our parents, siblings, teachers, religion, the state or society.

One of the most typical causative dialogues for one’s guilt it that of a child with its mother.  The mother asked her daughter to bring up the chairs from the basement because they are going to eat.  The daughter is watching a program on the TV and tells her to wait for the ads to come on.  The mother tells her that it does not matter and, even if it greatly hurts her back, she herself will go for the chairs.    The daughter imagines her mother with six chairs on her back, falling down the stairs.  Then she runs and does what her mom asked.  Otherwise she will be responsible for her mother having fallen.

It is very efficient type of mentality, "I sacrifice for you.”  Some mothers remind their children of their labor pains: "I had eighteen hours straight just to bring you into this world."  Another phrase is: "I only stayed married to your father for you."  The child feels guilty for his/her mother's unhappiness.